Something happens. It actually, factually happens. Then we make meaning of what happened. We tell ourselves stories about what happened. Eventually, we no longer know what happened. We only know what we told ourselves about what happened.

A boy asks a girl for a date. The girl says no, thank you. The boy tells himself that he was rejected.

When bad things happen when we're very young (and sometimes when we're older), we only know two meanings: "There's something wrong with you" or "There's something wrong with me." Which one we tend to choose will determine everything else.

Why does this matter? It matters because these stories about our lives are the patterns we bring into ministry. This is what other people see, what they relate to, and this is what will do us in eventually. Our questions, our addictions, our insecurities, our struggles are all rooted in the meaning we make of what has happened to us.

Freedom comes when we are able to tell the truth. To tell the truth about what actually happened. To tell the truth about the meaning we have made and the stories we have told. To tell the truth about the struggle.

We can only tell the truth about our selves when we take time for solitude, to remember and to listen. Jesus said, "You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free."