All of us operate out of our mental models--our way of seeing and understanding the world. Because our mental models are acquired so early and are so deeply held, we often are unaware that we have them. We think, "That's just the way the world is" without realizing that there are multiple ways to see the world.

When it comes to church, most of us grew up with a mental model that was attractional; that is, "Church is a place that people come to. If we want people to experience the kingdom of God, we need to invite them to church." However, many of us are now understanding the church to be missional; that is, "Church is the people of God who go out into the world and bring the Kingdom with them." To the extent that we believe this, we have exchanged one mental model for another.

As leaders, we now take on the daunting task of helping others in our congregations see, evaluate and exchange their own mental models about what church is and who it is for. We understand that when our congregations push back against our sermons and our teachings about missional living, it is not because they don't love God or that they don't love the world or even that they don't love us.

Instead, we see that they are firmly invested in a mental model they don't even know exists . . . and it's our job to help them excavate that and to look at their thinking. We ask questions like, "How long have you seen it that way? Do you know why you believe as you do? Who else in your life believes that way?" and we create safe places for them to explore. We also have the courage to share our own thinking: "I see this differently and I'd like to tell you why." "I've had a different experience and this is what I'm thinking now." "I'd like to consider the possibility that something else might also be so."

Telling people what they should think never changes their mental model about anything. Neither does shaming them for not changing. Neither does giving them more and more information about the position we want them to adopt. Jesus understood and modeled this so beautifully. He said, "You have heard it said . . . but I say to you . . ." and then he backed it up with story, with street theater, with humor, with inspiring words that created new possibilities in people's minds.

Everything he did was for the purpose of exposing their inadequate beliefs about God and his kingdom or showing them what God's kingdom actually looks like. And lets keep in mind a couple of things: first of all, in three years, he made virtually no progress and two, it eventually got him killed.

And still, that's what we've signed on for. As leaders, that's our job: to help the people we serve see that God is a missional God and that we, his people, must join him on his mission to reconcile the world to himself. In essence we're asking them to exchange one mental model--one way of seeing things--for another. I think Jesus called that repentance.

During the retreat, we challenged ourselves and each other to listen in a radically different way. We committed to set aside our natural inclination to ask ourselves, "Is this right or wrong? Do I agree or disagree with this? Will this help me look good?" Instead, we tried to remain open to what we were hearing, asking, "What if this is so? What would that mean?"

There was some concern about the implications of this way of listening. What if we became so openminded that our brains fell out? But as we gained trust in each other, we practiced more and more listening from a stance of openness--"what if this is so?"

Normal listening, to be honest, isn't really listening at all. Instead, it disguises itself as listening but is, in fact, reactive and defensive. While another person is talking, we line up our own arguments in our heads, just waiting politely for our own chance to talk. Or, we only hear the parts of what another person is saying that already confirm what we already believe, disregarding the rest without even realizing what we are doing.

Throughout the retreat, we continually reminded ourselves to listen differently--to listen for possibilities with the goal of understanding, to listen with openness and trust, to truly listen. I'm curious . . . since you got home, have you continued to listen?

Most of our current ministry began the day a group of Houston ministry leaders asked the question, "What is the difference between making good church members and making genuine disciples of Jesus Christ?" Part of that conversation eventually showed up in a diagram we use to describe the interplay of obedience, community and reflection in the life of a follower of Jesus. We believe that maturity comes in the willingness to drill deeply into each area.

Reflective lifestyle that leads to intimacy with God
We look to John 15 for the reminder that apart from an intimate vine-to-branch relationship with Jesus, we can truly do nothing that will bear lasting fruit. We're also painfully aware that everything in our culture--including church culture--works against this. We remember that the spiritual disciplines help us to slow down and be still, to listen to God and to turn our hearts toward Him, to receive from him everything we need for our life and work. This is the only antidote to ministry in our own strength.

Community of grace and truth
Surely Jesus knew what he was doing when he assembled a group of men and women who would follow him together, live life together, endure the days after the cross together, receive the Holy Spirit together. Surely community is not an optional part of our discipleship. So many ministers are lonely. Our church members are lonely. Our culture is lonely. Nothing brings the presence and power of Jesus into our midst like genuine, loving community--where we can tell and hear the truth, where we can be truly known. This is what the world is hungry for and what we must be committed to.

Radical obedience that leads to missional living
Jesus meant it when he said, "If you love me, you will do what I say." He is not some egomaniac on an authoritarian power trip designed to build up his self-esteem. He is the creator of the universe and the creator of me and he knows what is best. Trust looks like obedience. When I obey Jesus, I will necessarily join him in his mission. Jesus did not come to the earth as a tourist. He was on mission from the very beginning until the very end and beyond. Radical obedience will keep me from "playing church." It will keep me from ignoring the ones Jesus loved the most. It will give me new experiences with God that will coax me into new levels of walking by faith. It will lead me into joining the mission of God in the world and into leading others to do the same.

We're counting down to the next retreat by reviewing our time together in Texas. Remember the blue, blue skies and the warm sunshine? We also want to remember together some of the concepts we learned--just to keep us on track and help us take our next steps toward real change.

We started by examining what it really means to learn. Learning is a more complex process than gathering information or absorbing more facts into our already-crowded brains. Too often, we have attended conferences or taken classes and gained information but we've seen no transformation or even real change in our lives.

The model of learning we advanced had three key components:

Information: These are the facts we need to know and skills we need to acquire.

Practice: This underscores the importance of humility--we become willing to be terrible at something as we learn by doing.

Reflect: We look back on our practice and ask, "How did I do? How can I do better?" We listen to the guidance of the Holy Spirit and ask for feedback from others.

Why does this matter? Partly because we want to see genuine learning in ourselves but also because we want to see transformational learning in our leadership teams. We don't want to just know new facts--we want to be able to do new things. If your strategy doesn't intentionally create opportunities for all three parts of the process to do their work, the learning will be incomplete. Does yours?