During the retreat, we challenged ourselves and each other to listen in a radically different way. We committed to set aside our natural inclination to ask ourselves, "Is this right or wrong? Do I agree or disagree with this? Will this help me look good?" Instead, we tried to remain open to what we were hearing, asking, "What if this is so? What would that mean?"

There was some concern about the implications of this way of listening. What if we became so openminded that our brains fell out? But as we gained trust in each other, we practiced more and more listening from a stance of openness--"what if this is so?"

Normal listening, to be honest, isn't really listening at all. Instead, it disguises itself as listening but is, in fact, reactive and defensive. While another person is talking, we line up our own arguments in our heads, just waiting politely for our own chance to talk. Or, we only hear the parts of what another person is saying that already confirm what we already believe, disregarding the rest without even realizing what we are doing.

Throughout the retreat, we continually reminded ourselves to listen differently--to listen for possibilities with the goal of understanding, to listen with openness and trust, to truly listen. I'm curious . . . since you got home, have you continued to listen?